So, I wasn't quite sure how I would be feeling for my very first Mother's Day. Of course, I was extremely grateful to be celebrating this holiday for the first time, but I wasn't sure if emotionally I would be able to hold myself together. I can officially say that I had a wonderful Mother's Day and that once again the Lord showed me his grace and love.
To start the day off, Raleigh fixed me breakfast in bed. We had yummy cinnamon rolls (these have become a habit for us on Sunday mornings) that were cooked perfect...a little gooey in the center but firm on the edges. After we finished breakfast, he surprised me with my first Mother's Day gift. I looked at him in disbelief because I had no idea how he had time to get me a gift with his test last week. My sweet husband went to the hospital one morning while I was still asleep and took these beautiful pictures of our precious little girls. He said that the nurses were all over this little project and they were so helpful to him in this little scheme. Thank you Dawn and Pamela!
After I opened my present, we got ready to head to church. I knew that this is where I was supposed to be yesterday morning but I will admit I feared that I would totally break down in front of everyone. We got there a little late but still got to sit with our awesome friends and joined them in worshiping our amazing Savior. During the service, they played a song that I haven't heard before but it really struck home to me. It was all about how God hears our requests and how He answers them. After our rough Wednesday night, I spent some serious time in prayer on Thursday and Friday. As I was praying for the health of our babies, I began to plead with God for them to stay with us on earth. Friends, I truly believe that God has a greater plan than what we can see in front of us and I know ultimately that His will for our lives is what is most important. I am trying with all of my heart to see His will in this situation but at the same time I will admit that I selfishly want the chance to raise these girls into women. I believe that He gave us this blessing because we chose to follow Him and He knows that this has been a desire on my heart.
Friends, I want these little girls to come home with us one day very soon. I want to celebrate Mother's Day for many years to come. I want to see them grow up, go to college, and marry a great guy one day. I still fear the worst, but I can't let that fear control my life and my thoughts. Right now, our nursery is half-way completed. The little clothes still have their tags on them and we have so much to organize and put in its place. Normally, I would be in hog-heaven getting to do all of this (I am so type A when it comes to organization) but my fears are making me timid. Part of me is scared to take the tags off.....but the other part of me knows that I have to have faith that He is hearing my requests. I can't live in fear; I have to continue to seek the good in this situation.
So, yesterday, on Mother's Day, I chose to be happy and to celebrate me being a mom. When we arrived at the hospital, I received another present from each of the girls. The nurses had stamped their little footprints on some cards saying that today they were 9 days old. Praise God that they are 9 days old!!!!! I also received some sweet flower bouquets with a poem from Footprints Ministry. Both of these gifts brought a smile to my face and I really enjoyed getting to love on my Adeline and my Maralee. Thank you nurses and Footprints Ministry for being so thoughtful to us new mommies!!!!
Sweet friends, I truly want to thank you for all of your prayers and gifts. Thank you to everyone that sent me messages yesterday, it means so much to me that you thought of me. We believe in the power of prayer and that faith as small as a mustard seed CAN move mountains. We are still running this marathon so please continue to pray for our family. Specifically pray for the girls to both work on their breathing so they can move on to digesting their feedings. Pray for me to remain positive and not let fear consume me....let me have the peace of God wash over me. Pray for Raleigh to continue to be the leader of our family and for Him to not get overwhelmed with work, tests, and our situation. Thank you so much again for thinking of us and we will continue to keep you all updated!
Till next time, let your light shine!