Today has been an interesting day. It seems that the Price house is a little on edge right now. Yesterday, our neighbor's house was broken into. Robberies can happen in any city but it really makes you aware of your surroundings when it happens in your neighborhood. What makes it scary is I was home alone when it happened yet had no clue until Raleigh's mom came home and she saw our neighbor. Today, Mrs. Price and I decided to go out to eat for lunch and Raleigh calls me minutes after we left saying that our house alarm was going off. We race back home and start blaring our horn outside of our house. I guess we thought we would be scaring off the bad guys but it ended up just being a false alarm. I am glad because if I had seen a bad guy run out of our house I do believe I would have had a heart attack and the horn would not do us any good!!!!!
After that scare, we ate some lunch and then headed to the hospital to see the girls. Our amazing pastors met us at the NICU so they could pray over Adeline and Maralee. After scrubbing our hands up and down, we walked into their shared room with 17 other little ones and started to receive the updated report from the nurse and doctor. Turns out, the little infection that Maralee might have is actually a real staff infection. The doctor told us it could be caused by the ventilator tube that is down her throat right now or it could have been passed on to her from any of the doctors, nurses, etc. that have been checking her in the hospital. She has started on antibiotics but since she has this infection she is now on quarantine. There is a big red box around her incubator and this is to show that anybody that touches her needs to wear gloves and a sterile hospital gown. This also means that she will probably be in isolation until she gets to go home.
That was hard news for us to hear. All in all, this is something that is common around the hospital but it is just an added thing for Maralee's body to fight. It is taking a lot of willpower to not be angry at this situation. This almost seems like something that someone else gave her; not something that was caused by her premature birth. It is so easy to place blame on this unknown person that accidentally gave her this infection but I am starting to figure out that I can't go down this road of pointing fingers. Through their lives, many people are going to accidentally cause harm to my children. As their mom, I need to just go ahead and forgive this person and pray that healing will come. As always, this is easier said than done :)
Friends, it pains me to see my little girl going through so much. I do realize that God is taking any discomfort from her little body right now and whispering sweet things to her, but it kills me to see that red line around her "house." I know that the red line is keeping the bad guys out but it is also keeping me out. I want to protect her, to hold her and tell her everything is going to be alright, but even I, her mom, can't get close to her. The little privilege that we had of touching her has been taken away and now we have to fully trust in Jesus' love for Maralee right now.
I don't think I have told this story yet, but Maralee's name was the first name that Raleigh and I thought of for the girls. We loved the idea of combining family names into one new name. Maralee's name originated from my Paw Paw, Marion Jackson and Raleigh's Nan Nan, Okalee. My Paw Paw has always been someone that I have admired. He has such faith in Christ and has the lines on his hands to show his labor in life has been for the Lord. My Paw Paw has always been on the smaller side but boy could he run back in his day! His nickname was Jack "Rabbit" and he ran track and played football for Auburn. Raleigh's grandmother is also someone to admire because she has shown such strength for so many years. Her husband died of a heart attack when Raleigh was young but she continues on with her life. She cooks, goes to work, and has even learned how to use the computer. :) She is truly a woman of noble character that knows how to keep her family together.
Since we chose Maralee's name first, we decided to give it to Baby B. It was our way of making things fair for Baby A. Looking at both of my girls, I know that their names already fit their personalities. The name Adeline reminds me of "Sweet Caroline" and I think she looks so sweet and peaceful laying in her incubator. She doesn't move much yet she loves to hold our hands when we touch her. Inside my womb, I always felt Baby B kicking and squirming around and Maralee is obviously that baby now. She is a little fighter and she isn't going to let this yucky mess get the best of her.
I look down at Maralee and she reminds me that I need to be a fighter too. I need to be strong and show courage when I get these kind of reports. It is so hard because I feel like the devil is using her to get to me. He knows that we thought of her name first so he is attacking her harder than Adeline right now. It is symbolic to me that the line around her incubator is red. The color red can easily be associated with satan and I just pray that God's angels are inside of that red tape blocking out the arsenal that he is throwing at our baby girl. This is truly a war that we are caught in right now.
This afternoon, riding home in the car, Mrs. Price reminded me of the battle of the good and bad angels over Moses' body. Deuteronomy 34:6 tells us that the Lord buried Moses and to this day no one knows where his grave is. God buried him so the devil couldn't use Moses' remains against God's chosen people. Hebrews 3: 1-14 tells us,
"Therefore, holy brothers, who share in the heavenly calling, fix your thoughts on Jesus, the apostle and high priest whom we confess. He was faithful to the one who appointed him, just as Moses was faithful in all God's house. Jesus has been found worthy of greater honor than Moses, just as the builder of a house has greater honor than the house itself. For every house is built by someone, but God is the builder of everything. Moses was faithful as a servant in all God's house, testifying to what would be said in the future. But Christ is faithful as a son over God's house. And we are his house, if we hold on to our courage and the hope of which we boast. So, as the Holy Spirit says: "Today, if you hear his voice, do not harden your hearts as you did in the rebellion, during the time of testing in the desert, where your fathers tested and tried me and for forty years saw what I did. That is why I was angry with that generation, and I said, 'Their hearts are always going astray, and they have not known my ways. So I declared on oath in my anger, 'They shall never enter my rest.' See to it, brothers, that none of you has a sinful, unbelieving heart that turns away from the living God. But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called Today, so that none of you may be hardened by sin's deceitfulness. We have come to share in Christ if we hold firmly till the end the confidence we had at first."
Friends, many of you have been so sweet and encouraging to me as I go through this situation. I am no superwoman, I am just a girl that became a mom and is now trying her best to hold things together. I have to be faithful...I am nowhere near Moses, but I have to be a faithful servant to God's house right now. I can't have a hardened heart during this situation, I have to have courage and faith in Christ. I thank you for your daily encouragement and am so thankful for Today because it is another day that I get to share with these beautiful little girls.
Below are two pictures that I wanted to share. In the first picture, the tube that is going through Maralee's mouth is the ventilator. Please pray that she will start to breathe on her own so she can go back on the CPAP that is going through her nose in the second picture. This device allows her to breathe better. We need to pray that both girls will get on the CPAP quickly so they can start to digest their food. Praise God that all other reports are looking good right now.
Till next time, let your light shine!