It's funny how when I write a post like for your monday that I need the words more than anyone else. I had all hope that not only my Monday, but the remainder of my week, would be filled with light, productiveness, and joy. But, it hasn't. So, I've needed God's grace like that flower needs rain.
This week has surprised me with unexpected exhaustion. Adeline has had the worst time going to bed every night and on Tuesday I let her sleep in our bed with us. BIG mistake. We've been paying for it all week long! I feel like I have a newborn where I'm in the sleep-deprived stage of walking around with crazy hair in my pj's in such a fog that I have no strength to do anything more than sleep, eat, and clean.
It is my goal to offer you all words of encouragement here. Lately, I haven't had much encouraging words to say. I've needed some time to receive instead of pour out. I'm sorry I've disappeared and been sporatic lately but I've just been working through some things with our family that is just for family right now. Nothing bad or life-threatening, (I'm not pregnant either!) but just some private stuff.
This is a space where I want for you and I to be in community and us share life together. But, one thing that God is impressing upon my heart right now is time with my family. This space is important and will stay a priority but for a little while at least, I might not be posting as often as I typically do. Will you give me a (virtual) hug and say that you understand? I hope so.
I've been spending time with the Lord not really saying anything and not really receiving anything. I'm studying The Forgotten God by Francis Chan and in Chapter Three he asks why do we want the Holy Spirit in our lives? Why do I, Christen, want the Holy Spirit in my life? Is it for selfish ambition and personal gain or is it to receive the life that God wants for me? I question even more if I'm ready for the life God wants for me. Sometimes following God is hard. Lately, I've just wanted an easy button even though I know all of God's promises for following him.
The other day, the girls' teacher over the summer passed away in her sleep from a heart attack. She was the sweetest lady and I loved her keeping my girls while I started work. A few months ago, one of our family friends passed away from a heart attack too. He was only 31. Life is so fleeting and it seems some days like it goes by so slow and others way too fast. I guess my point is that we never know what is going to happen tomorrow, or even thirty minutes from now. So, are we willing to receive what God has for us?
Maralee is asking me to get up right now. I don't usually write when they are awake so I guess I need to follow Miss Bossy Pants right now. Y'all have a happy weekend and I'll write again soon.
Till next time, let your light shine,