This tale begins about a girl who doesn’t know what on earth she was put here to do. She knows God gave her gifts, but they don’t quite make sense. Her parents always encouraged her in all of her endeavors growing up. Go for it! You can do it! Believe in yourself and don’t let anybody tell you different! In college, she was honored to hold various leadership positions. She felt like she was making a difference. And truth be known, she really was making a difference because she woke up every day with a goal to achieve. She had friends, she had family, and she even had a cute boyfriend that loved her so very much. But, her life still did not seem all together. There were too many puzzle pieces missing from the box.

After college, she became Miss Independent by living all on her own for the very first time in a city far far away (okay, 3 hours far away technically, but it was a for real city.) She struggled to figure out where she should work and often wondered out loud to herself, “Why again did I major in Communications????” Then one day, luck was on her side and her sorority sister hooked her up with an interview with one of the largest not for profit organizations in the whole country. She went on the interview and knew she had nailed it. After a couple of weeks, the phone never rang so she got brave and started doing the calling. Turns out the execs thought she would be better at another job in the company so she went on a second interview. Dressed in her lucky pink and green suit she walked in with a confident smile on her face and she just knew this was it. This was the one. Little did she know that the person interviewing her had already accepted a job with another company and she would be leaving her current position in a short period of time. So, after weeks of no phone calls, the girl found out the company was doing some restructuring and they would have to get back with her when and if an opening becomes available. With her head hung low, the girl politely told the company thank you and to keep her in mind if a position did become available.

Now what? How was she supposed to be Miss Independent and a soon-to-be Mrs. without a job? In order for her and her fiance to become husband and wife, she needed to have a job with benefits for them while he was still finishing school. Reluctantly, she did what she never ever in her whole life thought she would have to do. She applied to work at a bank. As a teller. This is a girl who “accidentally” spent $1,000 in one month when she became Miss Independent and who had honestly never been that good at balancing a check book. And, still to this day, the girl doesn’t know how to count out money and have all the Benjamin’s facing in the right direction. But the job had benefits, insurance, and a paycheck so she did what she had to do.

As she began her training she convinced herself that she was doing the right thing. She was engaged to be married in less than 7 months and she was making a sacrifice so she could be united forever and ever with her best friend in the whole wide world. “You gotta do what you gotta do,” she told herself every morning as she was learning how to identify a counterfeit bill. Then, one day in her training she received a phone call from out of the blue. An opening in the company! Oh, my! What a joy! She quickly and very secretly set up a meeting with her potential employer. They met, they talked, they sealed the deal. Finally, she got a real job that she was proud of!!!!! She felt like it was meant to be. Her first real job where she would be making a difference in other people’s lives! How wonderful! God was so very good and loved the young girl so very much.

God has taken care of that young girl since she was knit in her mothers’ womb. At this point in the story, you have probably figured out that girl is me. Throughout my life, He has opened doors that were constantly being shut. He gave me opportunity when all I saw was darkness. Now, three years later, I still love what I do and don’t plan on giving it up anytime soon, but I keep wondering if this is my full purpose in life. I know it is apart of the big puzzle but I am still missing a few key pieces to make the puzzle into a piece of art. But, finally, at the age of 25 I know what puzzle pieces I should be looking for. I have a direction and an obligation to fulfill to the One that knew me before He gave me to my parents. Below are a couple of those pieces that I have started to identify:

1. My purpose in life is to serve the Lord. Some of you might say, “duh” of course that is our purpose in life. To me, I have known for a long time that I want to serve the Lord but in what ways was I designed to do that? I can’t sing, I can’t speak in tongues, I don’t have the gift of being a caregiver. But, He has given me an encouraging spirit. He has given me a voice that is sometimes heard and needed by others. He has given me compassion and drive and a servants’ heart.

2. My purpose on this earth is to love my family. I mean, truly love them with all my heart. Yes, they get on my nerves and yes, I see so many flaws in them but YES I have so many flaws in me. My goal here is to be a loving daughter, a sister my brother feels proud to be his sister, and most importantly, a wife that loves her husband from the depths of her heart. One day, God willing, I will be a mother and my duty to society is to bring up our children to be children that serve and love the Lord with all their little big hearts.

3. My purpose on this earth is to care for others. That part, I am still figuring out. There are so many ways to care for others. As I have already mentioned, I don’t see myself as a caregiver, but I see myself more as a caring giver. I want to help people. I would love to see women living lives of noble character and families staying together and an end to poverty in this world. We are all children of the Lord and we are meant to love one another. Red and yellow, black and white, they are precious in His sight.

So, in closing, the girl at the beginning of this story is finally starting to put the pieces of the puzzle together. I still have some pieces to figure out and once I get done with this one I’m sure to begin another one but in the meantime, I need your prayers. I was fearful to take this step to writing a blog because it meant me being so open about my inner most feelings but I believe there is a purpose behind all of this and Jesus is giving me the nudge to share His glorious name with others out there. The verse in the Bible that is the mission of this journey is this: “You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven.” – (Matthew 5:17).

When I started to really break down that verse, I realized that Jesus doesn’t want our light to be contained under a bowl so no one can see it. He wants our light to be uncontainable where no bowl no matter the size can hide the light that so brightly needs to be burned. So, here I am. I am letting this little light of mine shine. And I hope it gives you light.

Till next time, let your light shine!

Blessings, christen

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