You and your spouse have been trying to conceive for 9 months or longer now and you haven’t seen a positive pregnancy test yet. You’re in your 30’s and you’ve had no success at becoming pregnant. You’ve had a positive pregnancy test only to lose the baby in a miscarriage, and have yet to get pregnant again; or you’ve had multiple miscarriages over the course of a couple of years. Wherever you are in your journey you are not alone! Couples all over the world struggle with these very situations on a daily basis. If I only had one chance to say anything to you at all it would be this: THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS NORMAL - SO QUIT TRYING TO FIT INTO THAT MOLD! I can remember thinking to myself, “Why can’t we just be normal, and get pregnant like everyone else?” Normal isn’t anyone’s reality, so why are you trying to make it yours? The best part about any fertility journey, whether it is easy, hard, painful, or blissful is that it is your own unique journey! Jeremiah 29:11-14 tells us,
For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.”
There is so much packed into these few short verses from God’s almighty Word! First we can trust that your journey is not a secret, the Lord has laid out a path for you - He knows exactly where He is allowing you to go! He tells us the plan for us is to prosper us and give us a hope and a future! How great is that? We don’t have to live focused on our seemingly impossible present when we know that the we have a great future planned by the Lord! Even better He tells us in these verses that this journey is giving us an opportunity to need Him, to call out to Him. The best part is, when we cry out to Him he not only hears us, but listens to us! Our God cares about what you are going through, He cares that you have hurts, He cares that you have joys! He also tells us here that when we look for Him, He can be found. This means when you look for the Lord in your toughest and even greatest times of life you will be able to see Him. He is always with you, always working, always speaking. It is always us who are not looking, and listening for Him. I know it can be so hard to step back from your worst days of despair and true sadness and say “show me where you are in this Lord” without being sarcastic. As human beings we love to throw ourselves pity parties! We love to say “WHY ME?”, “WHY ME?” “WHY ME LORD?”!
We love to throw tantrums in the floor, I was a regular fan of this type of outburst on negative test result day. We love to crawl into our pits and refuse to come out for days. But what we should be doing is seeking the Lords face and remembering that our life here on earth is a gift from Him. Our role here on earth is to worship Him freely, not because we feel like it, but because that is what we have been created for. Who are we to get angry with God because He didn’t give us what WE wanted. It is we who forget, that He has a plan for us!
We forget that He knows best. Of course hindsight is always 20/20 - and most of the time after you’ve walked through the valleys and come out on the other side at the mountain top you can clearly see the work that the Lord was doing on your behalf. Most of the time we find out that our preferred timing would have been so wrong, or that our way would have taken us so far out of God’s will that it would have taken years to get back. For me personally, I was able to look back and see that God allowed me to go through my journey to grow me through faith, maturity, and even in my character. He taught me how to love Him through the good and bad, He taught me how to love my husband through the good and the bad, and He taught me how to love others through the good and the bad. Wherever you are today, look back at where you began - if you cannot see clearly what the Lord is doing, get on your knees and seek Him for the answer.
He really does want to show you, guide you, and teach you great things through this hard life lesson. There is no greater time than this to surround yourself with great prayer warriors and Christian support! Check your local churches for fertility support groups, and don’t be afraid to seek Godly counsel on the subject. Sometimes all you need is a positive outside perspective and a fresh look at the journey ahead. If you live in the Montgomery, AL area our church Saint James United Methodist Church, has a great fertility support group called “Renewed Hope” that meets regularly throughout the year. Women from all over the region are members of this group. It is a great way to find encouragement through those who have traveled the journey and found victory, and to meet other women facing the same struggles you are going through right now!
If you haven’t reached out to your OBGYN yet, don’t be afraid to do so. The OBGYN is a great starting place for figuring out what may or may not be wrong. Always ask questions and become as informed as possible. If you’ve exhausted your resources with your regular OBGYN consider a consultation with a Reproductive Endocrinologist (a fertility specialist). Don’t get too far ahead of yourself and write off the specialist because you don’t think you can afford it. The consultation is just that, a consultation - no commitment. Just get informed and explore your options. You may be surprised at what your insurance will cover, and how many programs there are out there that can help you financially. If you feel like you’ve exhausted your resources with your RE, consider taking a full-out break from it all! Find the relaxed you that you lost somewhere on the journey. Learn to love your spouse again, reignite that passion you used to have for one another. And don’t forget to seek the Lord for rest, peace, and a renewed strength to continue on your way.
This month I would like to leave you with some homework…
Go to your nearest Vitamin Shoppe or GNC and ask for raspberry leaf tea. This tea helps tone your uterus and reproductive organs. I can say that I was drinking this tea both times I became pregnant. If your cycle is irregular, this tea will regulate it! Remember, this is raspberry LEAF tea, not raspberry flavored tea.Please be sure to stop drinking this tea if you do become pregnant - it is also known for bringing about labor late in your pregnancy (A great home remedy to try once you've reached the end of your victorious journey!) Carve out 10 minutes in your day to enjoy your cup of tea, pray, and read a devotion. Find time to get refreshed in the Lord and move forward in your journey!
Until next time, Be Blessed and Be a Blessing!