With a new calendar year, I always get a little sentimental. It's because I know that in four months, our girls will be turning another year older. We hear everyone say it but it's so true..."Where does the time go?" Life with twin toddlers has been so different from their first year. The girls are active and explore everything. While this is positive development, I must admit that it can be exhausting some days. I find myself muttering words under my breath like "stay positive" or "give thanks" when I really want to be saying, "STOP!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Stay STILL!!!!!" I read in this month's Parent's Magazine that parents should exercise meditation in these moments of craziness. Meditate on the little people who you created and the miracle that they are growing like weeds. But, as I find the twins using my Bobbi Brown eyeliner brush as a stirring utensil for "dog food soup" (dog food mixed in the water bowl), I must admit that it is hard to take a deep breath and tell myself that this is all part of parenthood.
Maralee & Adeline playing with my make-up
Maralee dumped my shimmery eyeshadow on herself five minutes before school
Both of the grandmothers came to Montgomery to celebrate Valentine's Day with the girls. When the twins went down for a nap, Ganny and Gabby got to work. They had made my bed, washed clothes, mopped floors, ironed the twins' outfits, and scrubbed my stove top to an impeccable whiteness. While I appreciated these gestures of love tremendously, I knew that the clean house wouldn't last. Milk would soon be spilled, clothes will be stained, and toys will be scattered. That's the thing that drives me crazy some days...I know all of that work will have to be repeated: again, and again, and again. The house never remains clean.
It helps to stay busy and get out of the house. Between school, Kindermusik, story-time, church, and dance class, the girls have a very active schedule. While I love going to these places, some days it is exhausting just to get out of the door. I never give myself enough time to get them dressed, make myself look decent, and make sure I've got the necessities: snacks, drinks, diapers, and wipes. I find myself carrying a big purse these days instead of a diaper bag...it is easier just to throw it all in there and go. I have been so thankful that public meltdowns have stayed minimal but I am constantly having to be stern about holding my hand as we walk from the car to our destination.
I think the thing that makes toddler-hood so different from baby years is their new-found independence. As babies, they were completely dependent on me for everything but now they are trying to do things on their own. I love that they can eat, walk, and say some words. But, they can't do all of this completely independently. They still demand for me to give them their drinks. They say no as I put them in the stroller instead of letting them roam free in the grocery store. They huff and puff when they can't say what they feel. I see two little girls that desperately want to be big girls but they need more time.
I wanted to share these things today because I want you to know that I don't have it all together. I struggle daily with motherhood and the tiring challenges it brings. Some days I can barely make it until Raleigh gets home. I want to sit on the floor and cry just like them. I wish for a magic fairy to come and keep my house clean. I pray for energy just to make it from one hour to the next. Daily, I fail with my words, temper, and anxiety.
I just felt like some of you might need to hear that today.
Till next time, let your light shine!
Join this community of truth-seekers and sign up to receive our FREE e-book, God's Love for Me. Fill out the "Sign Up for Blog Followers" on the right side of the page. Your day just might shine a little brighter.