Y'all, I can't believe that another study has come to an end here on our little part of the Internet.  Have you enjoyed A Confident Heart as much as I have?  There are so many parts that I want to sit back down to read; especially on the days that I feel doubtful about who I am and who I was created to be.  Today, as we conclude with this book, we will be talking about The Woman I Want to Be.

Have you taken time to ask yourself that question?  Are you brave enough to go after the answer? 

I have been struggling a lot lately with who I want to be and how I will get there.  Through this time of thoughtful questioning, I can't help but think about all the stages of life I've already been through.  I've graduated from high school and college, married my best friend, joined corporate America, left corporate America, been pregnant, became a mother of twins, and now we are in the process of selling our first home.

Last weekend, when we were at the beach, there were tons of college students enjoying their spring break.  I couldn't help but stare at the packs of young people: tan, carefree, driving cute little cars with their sorority stickers proudly displayed, and think that I felt old.  I have been out of college longer than I was at college.  I don't necessarily miss being 20 years old but some days I can't help but wonder if I've made the right decisions in life.  I think I have but I'm still not the woman who I want to be.  I still have so many strongholds that I need to let go of.  I have doubts, fears, and anxious thoughts about my life.  I question if I will ever get to that place of being who I expected to be.  Or, will I daily die to self?

I'm finally at a place where I can look back at my past to help me see my future.  When I begin to question who I am, I have to remember that God has remained the same through all of these years.  He has been faithful, trustworthy, and loving.  Instead of dying to self, I have to humbly sacrifice my own selfish pursuits for living in his righteousness.  As Renee says in Chapter 11, I have to live in the promise of my inheritance as a daughter of the King.  *I have to believe that I am chosen, redeemed, loved, remembered, secure, able, and called.  In order for me to become the woman I want to be, I have to stop wanting and start living life with God being "enough" for me.  That is the only way I will find confidence through my questions.

Have you asked yourself this simple question?  Is God enough? 

Some days, that answer for me is honestly no.  I'm ashamed to admit it but it is true.  I struggle with God being enough when I see the new spring collection of shoes at Target.  It is hard for God to be enough when we spent half of our spending money on a babysitter just so we could go to the movies or out to eat at a nice restaurant.  God isn't enough when my child is bent over screaming from a sick stomach. I get frustrated at God and defiantly ask if this is as good as it gets.  I get mad about my current circumstances and want change.  I question my future, doubt my gifts, and compare myself to others.  It is hard for God to be enough when life is just down right not how I thought it would be.

But, then I remember words that are planted deep into my heart:

Trust in the Lord, with all your heart and all your mind.  Lean not on your own understanding, but in all your ways acknowledge Him and He shall direct your paths - Proverbs 3:5-7

I am the way, the truth, and the life. - John 14:6

If I care for the birds in the sky, you must know that I will care for you more.  I will give you everything you need. -Matthew 6:26 (my version)

Do not worry about tomorrow, for each day has enough worry of its own. - Matthew 6:34

Let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father - Matthew 5:16

Brushing away the grim from this life, I have to believe in these truths.  God is enough...God is enough. 

Friends, as we end this study, might we go forth believing this simple truth?  May we live life with confident hearts in Christ and know that His word is true?  Are we able to move forward and become the women that we want to be by giving all of ourselves to a relationship with Jesus?  That we open our hearts and our minds to his love, truth, and guidance?  At the beginning of this chapter, Renee shares a quote from Beth Moore: Your past has not come full circle to its complete redemption until you allow Christ to not only defuse it, but also to use it.

May God use your past to make you believe that YOU are a woman with a confident heart.

Till next time, let your light shine,

Blessings, christen

*pgs. 209-210, A Confident Heart. Swope, Renee.

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